censura

agora que me censuram o gtalk este é o único método de vos ir chateando:

P: Porque morrem afogadas as dúvidas?
R: Porque não há margem para dúvidas.

P: Porque é que os Americanos se levantam de manhã?
R: Porque se levantassem de tarde eram Pmericanos....

P: Sabem como fazem um vector desmaiar?

R: Apagam lhe a seta e ele perde os sentidos!

P: Qual é o animal com 3 olhos e um quarto?
R: É o pi-olho......

Quando à noite cheguei a casa , a minha mulher
insistiu que a levasse a sair, a um sítio bem caro.....
Levei-a a uma bomba de gasolina !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jogos Olímpicos de Pequim foram cancelados.
Foram lançados boatos que antes dos jogos iniciarem, um elemento do júri, um tal de Richter, já andou dar pontuações, 8.3; 5.8 e 6.4.
Concorrentes adversários queixam-se ainda que os chineses usaram réplicas...

Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project -- an action docudrama
about famous composers starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone,
Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger being courted
for the top roles.

Spielberg really hoped to have the box office "oomph" of these
superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select the composers
they would portray, as long as they among the most famous.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to
play him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people
saw me playing the piano," said Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Seagal. "I'd
like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid." Then,
looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"

Arnold replied, "I'll be Bach."

Once there was a Hittite who was sick and tired of all the
Hittite jokes. So one evening he went home and memorized all
the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a
Hittite joke. He interrupted him with a shrill announcement,
"I've had it up to here with these Hittite jokes. I want you
to know that I did something probably none of you could
do...I memorized all the state capitals."

One of the guys, of course, said "I don't believe you.
What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," he answered.

ps: nostalgia

Now I know I'm being used, but that's okay man cause I like the abuse... I know she's playing with me but that's okay cause I've got no self esteem